candid: is this a joke site ?
perich: not so far as I know
candid: "it's not a beer belly, it's a fuel tank for a sex machine"
perich: "I'm not threatening to kill you; I'm encouraging you to exert yourself."
perich: "I'm not sleeping with your sister; I'm becoming a part of your family." etc.
candid: "I'm not coming in your mouth; I'm avoiding making a mess on the carpet"
candid: note to self:
candid: for future refence
candid: "I'm trying not to ruin your uniform, officer" would have worked better